Thursday 22 March 2012

SMOKING: I want to, but I just don’t know how.


           I don’t smoke, though in this picture you can see me holding a stick.

          You might as well guess what the scenario is. Well you just have to guess who among my friends has a strict parent (or husband), and fair enough, “Janis looks like the smoking type, so might as well hold this cigarette for me”.
            It is not the first time that happened, but this is the only evidence I got ;).
I have been with a bunch of sweet-looking cigarette smokin’ gals who are ashamed or afraid to let people see them smoking or holding a lit one. So, Punk always comes in to the rescue.

            Only two of these beautiful ladies don’t smoke. And would you believe I am one of the two? With the image that I have, the party gurl, rocker chick, hot babe that I’m projecting, well who would have guessed that I’m nicotine-free.
I’m not trying to preach against smoking.

I’m not encouraging it either. It’s just that, I don’t know how! I really want to learn how to smoke. It looks good and glamorous and cool, oh my God, and it’s a good reason to go out for a few minutes. “tara, yosi break!” And when I’m upset, I just can go out and smoke, take a deep breath, curse a little, smoke, deep breath again, then smoke again... and on and on it goes.

Johnny Depp can make even the most mundane activity super cool and sexy... yes, playing a piano is something, but who else on earth can make smoking such a big deal? Only Johnny! A bunch of guys can strip tease in front of me and I won’t be giving them a damn if Johnny will be there doing nothing but smoke a cigarette.

I’m not sure if Ricky can pull it off just like dear Johnny, or late great Kurt.

Though I don’t have information if Alanis Morissette do smoke, she makes flicking a cigarette sound really cool, as cool as giving a peace sign.

Those are just a few reasons, and I shall say shallow ones, why I’m dying to learn to smoke. The reasons why I SHOULDN’T still outweigh all of the above, and here they are:

Yes, I’m aware of it. And I’m really afraid of that kind of death. In my opinion, the consequences of smoking is worse than what I’m doing, speeding helmet-less in my scooter that doesn’t have a brake. If at any moment I crash, I get to spare myself of that slow and painful death PRINCE (cigarette) warns us about. I’m not gonna post those gross pictures of body parts damaged by smoking, I’m pretty sure we’ve all seen them flooding our facebook news feed to warn smokers of the bad effects.
Another, and I guess one of the biggest factors, is that in my family nobody smokes. My dad and all of my grown-up brothers don’t smoke. Well I just hope that the youngest, Jerome wouldn’t. But if he feels like it, then it’s up to him. I myself wanted to, but was just very “unfortunate” not to learn how.

It would be quite a shame if I’m be the only daughter in our family and I’ll be the first one to smoke.
Dad said he didn’t smoke by choice. It was not an easy choice to make since he grew up in a tobacco farm. The turning point would be a story when he was thirteen years old. Said he wanted to try smoking, just like his grown-up cousins. Grandpa caught him, locked him up in a storage barn and gave him a pack of cigarettes, said that he cannot go out until he finished smoking all of them.
Though I found out that the story was exaggerated back then, what’s actually happened is that when he got caught, Grandpa lectured him about the bad effects of smoking and asked him how can a young boy in a farm would afford to buy such vices. Grandpa actually set himself as an example, a bad example. After the lecture, he gave dad some cigarettes which he refused because of shame. He didn’t light a stick since.
Smoking may not kill me instantly. Abstaining, on the other hand doesn’t assure me of a long life. I have to make a choice that will at least extend my life long enough to see little Siouxsie grow into a beautiful lady.

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